Evidence of Being an Adult

When I was a kid, I watched my Mom and my Dad and began to itemize things that proved you were an adult.

Here is my abridged list

• You are up before anyone/everyone else
• You sigh at foolishness, tomfoolery, lolligagging or general ridiculosity
• You wrote checks
• You can stay up late
• You can seemingly buy whatever you want because you made the money
• You seem to know everything about everything
• You have the power to bring children to tears with one stern look
• Your joints crack
• You also sigh right after you stand because you are now on your way to something that stole your resting time
• You possess the ability to fall asleep in 2 minutes once in bed
• You possess the ability to fall asleep when seated in your favourite chair in 1 minute
• You have a pronounced Adam’s apple (if you are a dude)
• You seem to always have something heavy on your mind
• You seem to always be doing something to take your mind off of heavy things
• You are affected adversely by certain foods
• You affect everyone adversely because you ate a certain food
• You could care less that GI Joe the television series was interrupted by the top story on the 5 o’clock news
• You have a perpetual saved seat in your recliner, and no one can buck that system
• You don’t play with matches after your kids go to bed unlike your kids who turn into pyros once your bedroom light is off
• You really need glasses or people could die
• You secretly wish you could be a kid again