Listen to Your Dad

When I was a kid, my best friend Chris and I were always laughing.  We spent so much time together and most of that time was either preparing to laugh, laughing or recovering from laughing.  I learned the hard way that there are times you should not laugh.  I should have listened to my dad.
We were at McDonald’s.  My mom, my dad, Chris and I placed our orders.  Chris and I were causing a scene by taunting a Ronald McDonald statue that was gesturing to their current Happy Meal toys.  I am sure the toys were cool, because back in the day you could get good stuff like C4 or puppets.
Our meal was placed on a brown tray.  At that time, our burgers came in those environmentally friendly styrofoam clam shell cases.  They worked nicely for accommodating your burger on one side and your fries on the other.  They also worked nicely for still being around today in some landfill.  So we took our food to our table, Chris and I were still goofing around and then my dad said, “You boys need to simmer down or somebody is going to choke on their food.”
I laughed it off behind my straight face and then began to dig into my food.  Chris and I were flirting with disaster as everything became hilarious.  We almost broke into hysterics a few times but a cutting glance from my dad snuffed the fire.
The last thing I remember before being forever scarred was a long sip of Sprite.  As my mouth was filled to capacity, Chris let loose a zinger — then it happened.  I started to choke.  I tried to swallow and laugh at the same time, but that apparently is physiologically impossible.  I was choking and staring at my Big Mac nestled safely in its plastic nest.  Then — I vomited.  All over my burger and fries.  Thank goodness for those deep styrofoam clam shell cases.
My dad jumped up, smacked Chris in the head and in the same motion grabbed my arm.  He dragged me to the bathroom as onlookers were frozen mid-bite watching me go by — a very sad and gross little parade.
So let that be a lesson.  Listen to your dad — and don’t eat at McDonald’s on a regular basis.  It can’t be good for you.

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3 Comments

Filed under Observations

3 responses to “Listen to Your Dad

  1. I always like looking at tags on blog posts, and every once in a while get rewarded. Thank you, Kevin. I can now tick vomit off the list.

  2. Lacey

    “a very sad and gross little parade.” Funny. Really funny.

  3. Angie

    Thats hilarious!

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