As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.
Scenario: Your 2nd cousin Nancy gives you the gift of the Speedo believing that manly men wear them. You give a hesitant grin and thank her for the thought and the confidence.
Mancode#95: You were right to be hesitant. The Speedo does not meet Mancode requirements — that all shorts, pants and any other leg coverings must have pockets. That is why some men watch pro wrestling. It is not that they enjoy the sport, they just want to see what these big dudes are going to do with their hands. Why do you think pro wrestlers gesture so much and with such conviction? Simple. No pockets. If their little trunks had pockets, pro wrestling would actually be a manlier sport.
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Cousin Nancy needs to revisit the Rules For Appropriate Gift Giving.
No speedos, huh…..somebody may need to tell Jody.
Uh, Mandy —- Thanks for giving me such a disturbing mental picture this morning. Thanks.
Note to self: Do not invite the Demings on our next beach vacation.
Hey, you pick up some habits when you live in England for a while. Speed on in your Speedo!