As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.
Scenario: One of your friends asks for your help. Your friend is moving to another apartment and it will require a large sofa ascending many flights of stairs. Your friend is also a girl.
Mancode#541: Obviously, if your friend who happens to be a girl asks you to help her move, she thinks you at least have some level of strength. You don’t want to disappoint. You take on the part of the chivalrous hero. You pick up every box with gusto, even if you are out of gas. You yank the boxes marked “heavy” from the floor, even if you blow out your L9 vertebrae. You attempt to muscle that sofa up the stairs yourself, even if you end up at the bottom of the stairwell with a crushed sternum. If that should happen, get to your feet quickly and just limp a little bit. That way, she’ll wonder why you are limping and not notice the blood in the corners of your mouth. Also, she probably will not notice the wheezing whilst you are trying to breathe.