I am about to reveal to you mathematical proof that I am neutral when it comes to banana pudding. That is an interesting concept since I do not care for banana pudding at all. I have tried many recipes through the years — even many-a “Mamaw’s Recipe” but still, no dice. I am dumbfounded by the results of this equation. But who am I to argue with math?

One Nate Heffington made me aware of my apparent neutrality. He walked me through this process using a dry erase board that happened to be nearby. Behold the proof…

I am represented by the handsome drawing in the upper left portion of the picture. The equation broke down like this:

*I like bananas and I like Cool Whip.*

Essentially, positive + positive = positive.

I do not care for Nilla Wafers or pudding (Nate represented pudding by his depiction of Bill Cosby – try to find him).

Essentially, negative + negative = negative.

**Positive + Negative = Neutral**

If the equations are true, and they are, I should therefore be neutral towards banana pudding.

Thank you Nate Heffington. Thank you for an equation that does not make sense and for picture association that is a bit frightening.

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*Related*

You grabbed what? A wipeboard?

Go survey 10 random people. It’s whiteboard.

I have found that both wipeboard as well as whiteboard are correct. I have called it wipeboard all of my live long days, but to avoid people choosing sides, I have changed it to dry erase board.

Besides, what was that common expression you have been blowing all these years? Remember? You were in the Tahoe? We were driving? You said it — I waited until you said it two more times before I corrected you? Remember?

…and you go survey 10 random people.

Got ‘im.

I really don’t remember.

And switching over to “dry erase board” instead of “whiteboard” is just plain prideful.