10 Reasons That Prove I Do Not Play Around

If there is one thing that people know, the same people who occupy space around me, it is that I do not, under any circumstances…play around.  The following 10 reasons speak for themselves.

1.  If you decide to play a sweet, delicate little prank on me, count on getting a searing hot level 10 payback.*
Riley, my oldest daughter who at the time was a young lass of 9-ish, thought it would be funny to put a nasty-horrific-terrorpoo-inducing doll wearing a mullet wig and reading a book that was upside down on my toilet.  The goal was that I would find it after I came in late from work one night.  I silently made my way into the bathroom so not to awaken anyone.  After I whizzed my pants and Near-Swearfest 2003 officially ended, I decided to drop a level 10 on her unconscious little dome.  I went to my sleeping daughter’s room where I snatched her up from a sound sleep.  I ripped the bedsheet off with her inside, threw her over my shoulder Santa style, and then made my way into the bathroom where I placed her into the bath tub.  Then I went out into the cold night and flung that nasty doll back to hedes from whence it came.

(Just so you know, I considered writing 2-9.  In the end I determined that I would have been playing around.  And as you now know, I do not, under any circumstances…play around.)

*  Please do not attempt to test reason number one.



Filed under Observations

9 responses to “10 Reasons That Prove I Do Not Play Around

  1. Stin

    So what happens to guys who leave 2.5 foot, cross eyed blonde dolls buckled into your drivers seat for you to find in the early morning?

    • Kevin

      They get a generous helping of a reserved level 10 payback. If it were to be rated, it would only be about a 2. That was on purpose. You were about to get on the road and drive a great distance. I could not have lived with myself knowing I sent you away after a scathing level 10 payback.

  2. I know first hand of which you speak.
    Through lessons I may have or may not have learned early on in our marriage.

  3. Marie from Germany

    ….poor Riley 😉

  4. What’s reason number 10?

  5. Ashleigh

    hahaha…i remember this. oh i wonder what would happen if we…oh never mind. riley, we should just never ever attempt a prank, and ill leave it at that.

  6. I love the doll, I see her in my mind. I love your daughter’s mind, she’s a doll! You guys are perfect for each other! I miss you Home-Shalom. Hitherunto, I will call you by your new code name in this blog, Home Shalom. There you have it. I’m e-mailing you my own “doll horror picture.”

  7. Pingback: Nasty Little Challenge « the Eleventy Million Dollar Blog

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