The Trouble with Beards:2

ColeThe following is an interview with fellow Beardy, Cole Harden

I sat down with Cole at a crowded little coffee joint on the campus of Gardner Webb University.  I have known Cole to sport a pretty fat beard in the past, but this time, his beard was “neatly” trimmed because apparently Cole “needs a job”.

Me: Hi, Kevin here from Broad River Coffee Company right across the street from Gardner Webb University in… are we in North Carolina?

Cole: Yes.

Me: Okay, in North Carolina.  Could you please, for official reasons, state your name — your full name?

Cole: Brian Nicholas Harden, otherwise known as Cole.

Me: Could you please spell that for me?

Cole: (Begins to trouble me by spelling his name)

Me: That’s, that’s good enough.  Could you please describe for me when you realized you had potential to grow a beard?

Cole: Well, I guess I was…15?

Me: 15…that is kind’ve early.  Did you start with the Thinstache or go right for the beard?

Cole: I went all out.  I’m kind’ve lazy so I just kinda went with it to see what would grow.

Me: Now, with your beard, is it a full wrap-around beard that connects from the front to the back or is it mostly confined to the front portion of your body?

Cole: (Offers a humourously puzzled look)

Me: Does it connect with your chest hair?

Cole: No, I wish.  I’m not quite that lucky.

Me: Nor am I.  What have you noticed about having a beard that proves to be troublesome?

Cole: It’s not so much having the beard that’s troublesome.  It’s shaving.

Me: Mhmm.

Cole: That is the troubling part.

Me: So the trouble with your beard is that it interrupts your laziness?

Cole: It does.  It just keeps growing and I can’t do anything about it.

Me: Thanks a lot.

For the full interview, click below for your listening pleasure.


Beard Trouble

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5 Comments

Filed under The Trouble with Beards

5 responses to “The Trouble with Beards:2

  1. Marie from Germany

    this is soooo funny! i love the part “connect with your chest hair”

    awesome interview, Kevin!!

  2. Daddy!!!!!!! That’s so cool you can add your little voice over!!!

  3. Chris H

    So I have a friend who has some trouble with his beard. This isnt the expected shaving trouble but trouble of another kind. This friend, who for the sake of precaution will remain nameless, is on the verge of his 23 birthday and to this day has had his beard elude him. So listening to an interview, such as this, disheartens him. When someone at such a young age can fulfill the manly duty of growing course hairs from their previously smooth cheeks and my friend cannot. He struggles day and night with the wretched stubble that just does not seem to agree with him. So in a way my friend understands the troubles of beards and dreams of the day he can experience the troubles you truly masculine men daily deal with.

    • Tell your friend to be patient.

      I know of another person, who also shall remain nameless, who much like your friend could not sport facial hair at a young age.

      Many years passed before he could have a burly face.

      And yet during all of that beardless time he was able to acquire a beautiful wife and have a plethora of beautiful children.

      There is hope for you.

      I mean, for your friend.

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