The following is an interview with fellow Beardy, Walter Howard.
After having just filled our bellies with food from Zesto’s Grill (your typical Italian/Greek/American restaurant), Walter opened up and shared his heart regarding the highs and the lows of having a beard.
Me: Walter, you and I have known each other for how long now?
Walter: About two years.
Me: I don’t think that’s right, but for the sake of the interview we’re going to press forward. You are sporting a pretty nice beard, is this something you do every year?
Walter: I usually try it for a little bit — usually about once or twice a year.
Me: Why do you give up?
Walter: (While gently petting a horse) I usually can’t persevere through the itchy phase.
Me: When did you first realize you could actually grow a beard?
Walter: I think when I was seven.
Me: Seven? That is pretty early.
Walter: (Approving nod)
Me: Now I am going to go out on a limb here and say that I think that you are a Connector. By Connector I mean that you can grow a beard all the way down to your chest. Is that true?
Walter: (Puts saddle on horse) Unfortunately yes, yes it is.
Me: How do you know where to top shaving?
Walter: (Climbs onto horse and settles into the saddle) I think it comes down to personal choice. I mean, everybody decides how far they want the beard to go down. It’s really about accenting the chin. You want to draw the chin into it. When I say, “That’s enough chin”, then usually I shave from there down.
Me: What do you find most troubling about having a beard?
Walter: It’s not as easy as I thought it would be. I am pretty symmetrical — pretty detailed , so just keeping all those guys under control probably.
Me: So the fact that your beard is not symmetrical, that’s the most troubling part?
Walter: (Visibly irritated) When it’s not, I mean, the effort of keeping it symmetrical — yes.
Me: Thank you for your time.
Walter: You’re welcome, thank you (Rides into sunset).
For the full interview, click below for your listening pleasure.