Evidence of Being an Adult

When I was a kid, I watched my Mom and my Dad and began to itemize things that proved you were an adult.

Here is my abridged list

  • You are up before anyone/everyone else
  • You sigh at foolishness, tomfoolery, lolligagging or general ridiculosity
  • You wrote checks
  • You can stay up late
  • You can seemingly buy whatever you want because you made the money
  • You seem to know everything about everything
  • You have the power to bring children to tears with one stern look
  • Your joints crack
  • You also sigh right after you stand because you are now on your way to something that stole your resting time
  • You possess the ability to fall asleep in 2 minutes once in bed
  • You possess the ability to fall asleep when seated in your favourite chair in 1 minute
  • You have a pronounced Adam’s apple (if you are a dude)
  • You seem to always have something heavy on your mind
  • You seem to always be doing something to take your mind off of heavy things
  • You are affected adversely by certain foods
  • You affect everyone adversely because you ate a certain food
  • You could care less that GI Joe the television series was interrupted by the top story on the 5 o’clock news
  • You have a perpetual saved seat in your recliner, and no one can buck that system
  • You don’t play with matches after your kids go to bed unlike your kids who turn into pyros once your bedroom light is off
  • You really need glasses or people could die
  • You secretly wish you could be a kid again


Filed under Gentle Musings

5 responses to “Evidence of Being an Adult

  1. Sherry Edwards

    You make me laugh! Willy fits that description better than me . at least the falling asleep part.
    I also remember thinking that my dad could fix anything!! NOw I think that about Willy!

  2. my kids wait until i sit down before they ask for anything. i swear they plan it out in advance with charts and maps.

    oh, and sorry for taking a crack at you in the most recent video on my blog. blame tyler.

    • Kevin

      No problem man, your comment was well delivered. I will take it up with Tyler, however, because he is due for a good jostling.
      And heck yes — your observation on the timing of your children and your sitting down is universal I believe.

  3. stin

    good stuff my old friend. good stuff

  4. nate

    adults should also have jingling pockets and be able to afford a moving company instead of asking their friends to help.

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