Tag Archives: Mancode

Mancode #127 – Answers

As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.

Scenario: Someone asks you a question, and by some fluke, you don’t know the answer.

Mancode #127: First of all, don’t let on that they have asked a question no one thinks about, for that is why you do not know the answer.  Then, after making sure you do not call them out, you’ll want to sigh as if you are thinking of all the many possible ways to respond on their level.  It’s also a good idea to look around and sort of laugh to yourself as if some of the responses would be humourous, if only you could speak in layman’s terms.  When they ask you what is funny, the Mancode Manual suggests you say, “Nah, it’s just…” and then let your voice trail off as you shake your head letting them know they wouldn’t understand anyway.  If none of these tactics kill enough time that would cause the uninformed person to forget they asked a silly question in the first place, then finally you should change the subject.  Use the phrase, “By the way…” and then follow it up with a bit of sports talk.  That way, they feel as if they have led the conversation on to manlier things.

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Secret Underground Agent Society

Am I the only one that thinks that they are being watched by some secret underground agency?  There are times I swear I am being tailed by an undercover agent.  He is just observing me.  He is observing me not because I have done something wrong, but it is because I do things right.

Like when I reach into the cabinet to get a glass and an ill-placed mug comes tumbling out only to be rescued by my cat-like reflexes — it is as that time the agent makes a note in his little black waterproof book as he cases my house.   There are also times when I almost fall to the ground because of some ill-placed bump, but catch myself and roll out of it with flair.  That’s when the agent brings his hand to his ear and whispers something to base.

You see, they are watching me because they want to recruit me into their underground secret agent society.  They are looking for guys like me.  Guys that know how to handle themselves.  Guys that can catch an ice cube trying to escape the freezer.  A guy that can stop a drink from being spilled by grabbing it before it tips over entirely.

I took a great risk by sharing this with you on my blog.  They will probably erase it after I am finished and replace it with some Mancode entry.  The funny thing is that you may think I have blown my chances of being recruited by revealing their presence.  Fact is, that makes them want me all the more.

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Mancode #95 – Speedos

As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.

Scenario: Your 2nd cousin Nancy gives you the gift of the Speedo believing that manly men wear them.  You give a hesitant grin and thank her for the thought and the confidence.

Mancode#95: You were right to be hesitant.   The Speedo does not meet Mancode requirements — that all shorts, pants and any other leg coverings must have pockets.  That is why some men watch pro wrestling.  It is not that they enjoy the sport, they just want to see what these big dudes are going to do with their hands.  Why do you think pro wrestlers gesture so much and with such conviction?  Simple.  No pockets.  If their little trunks had pockets, pro wrestling would actually be a manlier sport.

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