Tag Archives: old

Blast from Past 2

Remember when people wanted to buy stamps of murdered presidents?  No?  Me either.  That is why I am pleased to show you another gem I found in the barn whilst contracting the Brown Lung (a respiratory disease caused by breathing old barn dust and paper fragments from the 1950’s and 1960’s).  Again, I will let the ad speak for itself.


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A Ripe Old Age

I can’t wait until I get to the age where I get to talk to people, and while they respond, I can think about what I am going to tell them next.

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Mancode #207 – Starting Your Lousy Car

As a man, I probably shouldn’t be telling you our secret codes for fear of being kicked out — kicked out of the Man Club.

Scenario: Your vehicle is beginning to show signs of old age.  Every time you get into it and are ready to go somewhere, you have to subject the people around you to the sound of a vehicle that takes forever to start.  That classic sound of a vehicle in distress fills the air:
naggina naggina naggina naggina naggina naggina naggina.  (Trying again) naggina naggina naggina *choke* naggina *sputter* naggina naggina *choke sputter* naggina naggina *sputter sputter POP POP* VRROOOOOMMM (this sound may be accompanied by a dark and toxic cloud exploding from the exhaust pipe)!!

Mancode#207: This one is simple.  Exit the vehicle and act like it is not yours.  Wait for people to clear the area and then try to start your car again, then you can drive away in shame.  After making a few wrong turns to lose anyone that may be following you, make your way over to the auto parts store…if you dare.

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Older Observation

I have found that the older I get, the more my areas of awesomeness get more awesome.
I have also found it to be true that as I get older, my areas of suckiness get more sucky.

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Life Lesson #377

Just because an old man is wearing dark sunglasses does not mean that he is blind.  Therefore, it is not a good idea to try to hold that man’s hand and lead him across a parking lot.

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